Thoughts of My Dad

We had two funerals for my dad: one on Tuesday the 19th in Atlanta and then one on Friday the 22nd in Norfolk, VA where he grew up. On Saturday the 23rd, we spread his ashes into the ocean like he asked. He is probably somewhere mad that we spent a bunch of money buying food for the meals after his services. He would have said that we could have used the money to do something else. That is just how he was.

I have to leave a lasting tribute to him somewhere. I don't have the money right now to erect a monument or to get a building at a school named after him. Until I can do those things, I will put up the words that I said about him through my tears at his first service.

Eugene Tyler was a man. He was my dad.

There are a lot of ways and words that can be used to describe my dad. He could be funny or contrary, stoic or silly, cantankerous or reflective. He had charm, class, and definitely a lot of style. How many times can my siblings or I remember him telling us that we should be wearing dark socks with our slacks?

Dad definitely had a lot of pride without being prideful. No matter what was happening, he carried himself with a great amount of dignity. Throughout everything, he held his head up and didn’t let things become more than he could handle. Even when he was confined to a wheelchair, he never let it get the best of him.

Two words are most appropriate to me when I think of him: sincerity and sacrifice.

Dad was sincere. If you didn’t know where you stood with my dad, you either weren’t paying attention or you weren’t being honest with yourself. You always knew what he thought of you because there was no guile in him. He wasn’t afraid to tell you what he thought and why. Whether you were the President, the Pope, or anyone else, he would let you know. He always meant what he said. Every time he spoke, it was like he was giving his word.

Dad made sacrifice a habit. He was never hesitant to go without so that we could have the things that we needed. He would skip meals and sometimes not buy everything that he needed so that he could give us some money to help with a bill or take care of some pressing concern. It was second nature to him to give up his own pleasure to ensure that we were taken care of. Although I didn’t say it enough, I appreciated what he did for me. I think that we all did.

I will miss him. And I hope that I can develop enough wisdom to learn some lessons from his example.

Eugene Tyler was a man.