Why ask why?

Who, what, when, where, why, and how are the fundamental questions that I was taught are important to answer whenever addressing a problem or a situation. People who are concerned with getting the facts are supposed to use these questions. In most cases, they help me get to whatever goal I am pursuing providing that I am honest about wanting to reach that goal.

I recently discovered that I need to stop asking “Why?” so much. For me why is interesting, but it is also the source of a lot of frustration. I am constantly on a quest to gain metaphysical, intellectual, and practical meaning from my experiences. At some point, that is good. It helps me to appreciate my experiences and to gain insight into the world in which I live. A lot of the time, it is a counterproductive waste of time. I end up lost in the sauce contemplating things that have nothing to do with the actual experience that is going on around me. I miss out on the real value and beauty of a lot of my life.

I have found out that why is the least valuable of the fundamental questions. For me, it speaks to my curiosity and need to know, even when I don’t need to know. To borrow from one of my favorite writers, Christopher Hyatt, why becomes intellectual pornography for mental masturbation - masturbation with no payoff.

In my quest for answers, I sometimes end up giving too much weight and value to knowing why something happened or is the way it is. For example, no one questions why water is wet. It is just wet. Everyone knows and accepts this and moves on with their lives. This is the type of acceptance that I will be trying to practice on a more ongoing basis.

Asking why is not a bad thing. Little kids do it all of the time. My three year old daughter is constantly asking me why. She is doing it to build up her understanding of her world. She needs to be able to understand how to interact with her surroundings. I, on the other hand, ask why to gain an advantage over my surroundings and to apply judgment to situations and people. Maybe in some way I feel that I am in competition with someone or something and that I must gain knowledge to somehow subjugate my opponents. I still haven’t figured out what the point or payoff of this competition is.

Most of the time that I waste on trying to figure out why is simply time spent spouting conjecture. The meaning behind some thing or event or its raison d’être doesn’t change the fact that it is there and that I have to deal with it. For example, if there is a boulder blocking the path, knowing why it is there will not help you to get past it.

In summary, I am going to make an effort to not ask why so much. Instead I will dedicate more time, energy, and effort trying to figure out how I can be a better, more effective person.