Smart Ass

I have been told by a lot of people that I am smart. I have old standardized test scores, report cards, and a few diplomas to attest to my supposed intelligence. Still, there are many days where I feel downright stupid. And then I look out at the world and find that there are a lot of people that are being classified as dumb. The more that I look at those people, the more intelligent that I realize that they are.

I was shown explicitly and implicitly as I was growing up that intelligent people were the ones that were doing well in school. They were getting good grades and being smiled upon by teachers and other authority figures. So I was always among those considered smart, oftentimes looked upon as the best. I made great grades and got accepted into world class schools and went to one of those top schools.

I have earned a Bachelor’s and a Masters degree from highly ranked universities. I have studied abroad. I have also gained a few advanced computer certifications. Yet, I look around me and I find that there are many people who did not finish even high school who are leaps and bounds ahead of me on all fronts. On paper, these are people who should not be able to carry my intellectual jock strap.

As I looked around, I figured out once I left my undergraduate experience that I had been playing a convincing, convoluted, and unrealistic game. It was a system of control and indoctrination. I really wasn’t prepared to understand and tackle the real challenges that life had presented me. The game that I was conditioning myself to play was one of strict meritocracy. If I did the work, I would be rewarded with opportunity and privilege. If I didn’t, I would fall by the wayside.

As I got into the real world, I found that a great deal of what I had been preparing myself to do didn’t exist. I found out that those to whom I had entrusted myself really didn’t know the system outside of their educational domain and had never really competed in the real world. I discovered the subjective meritocracy of education did not have an analog in the real world. Sure, I might be one of the more intelligent people in the room, but that didn’t count for anything in a corporate power structure. There was no guarantee that raw intelligence would help me get ahead. Instead, it became an impediment because I showed too many people too quickly that I mentally outclassed them.

I definitely held myself back by not using my intelligence in more pragmatic ways. It has taken me a long time to just answer questions as they are asked and not go overboard with information and opinions. People don’t want to be overwhelmed with my brilliance, they just want what they came to get. Even more, it has taken me a long time to stop being caught up in what I assumed were my impressive credentials. Those credentials only go so far. They may get you noticed and considered, but they won’t win any battles for you. And, I have drawn the conclusion that, in most situations, the concept of meritocracy is a fantasy.

What I am discovering about people that are experiencing success is that they work in a very efficient and self contained manner. They focus and don’t spread themselves too thin. They maximize their talents and work within themselves. I have never seen a star pro running back trying to have a deep discussion about the implications of string theory and quantum mechanics. I don’t recall hearing of any prima ballerina discussing multi-variable regression analysis as a predictive measure of commodities futures. And I really have never heard of Paris Hilton discussing anything of importance.

I am not saying that no one mentioned is capable of high brow, intellectual discourse. They refrain from it because it is not their thing. Instead, they work within their capabilities and excel within their chosen fields. They dedicate themselves and reap great rewards. They know who they are, accept that the outside world perceives them in a certain light, and they are OK with that.

Nobody in school ever told me to take that approach. And they definitely never told me to try to keep things as simple as possible about anything and everything. Instead, they told me to excel at everything and to learn as much as possible. That, of course, was followed by the standard go to school, work hard, and get a good job. None of my teachers seemed to realize the plain truth. Many of the greatest success stories in the world today didn’t finish school, mostly because they recognized that that type of formalized education had nothing to offer them. Also, none of them got jobs.

I don’t know why it has taken me this long to realize this. Maybe that is the real function of this system of formal education, to condition away independent and original thought. Somebody told me once that in college, you trade your common sense away for a diploma. I’ve done it twice already and may go back again. Or maybe I have just not understood the inherent opportunities and possibilities of being at those institutions. Maybe, I have submitted to limitation unconsciously.

As far as Paris Hilton is concerned, I think that our reactions to her apparent vacuous nature are simply our coping mechanisms kicking in. I don’t think that our society can handle her success. She may not be all that bright, but she was smart enough to surround herself with people who are bright. She gets paid to go to parties that she would probably attend anyway. She has several lines of perfume that are selling well. She has been paid to appear on television and in movies. She even got a record deal. All told, she is able to maintain her lifestyle and has probably makes more money in a year than the average person can ever dream of having in a lifetime without winning the lottery.

I have to ask myself: if I am so smart, why am I struggling so hard and making so little progress?