Accepting the Unacceptable

I was having a conversation the other day with my mentor. We were talking about business and business models, as we often do. We got on the subject of one specific company and I mentioned that I had no idea of why they were successful and made so much money. He immediately corrected me and told me that I knew exactly why I they achieved such success. I was just unwilling to accept the reasons for their success and, by extension, the legitimacy of their business.

The company and their business model suddenly faded from view. What his statement meant to me at a much higher level hit me like a ton of bricks. I had found another way that I had limited myself and cut off opportunity. I think that the judgmental nature of this self-discovery is the most important part of this little nugget of introspection. Whether I like it or not, there are things, circumstances, and people that exist in my life that do things or represent things that I find unacceptable. That doesn’t mean that these things are illegitimate or are going away because I want them to go away.

I have spent a lot of time eliminating certain words and patterns of thought from my life. I try not to use the words fair or deserve. I don’t always find success with this behavior modification. I try to see past fake moral dilemmas and traps of false logic. I poke holes in all types of bad arguments and conspiracy theories daily. Generally, I try not to be suckered in to the type of thought that I consider to be shallow and reactionary.

Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize something in my own belief system (BS) that was keeping me from moving forward in my understanding of myself and my relationship to the world. Because I didn’t agree with the premise of this business and its product focus, I marginalized its legitimacy. I totally pushed aside the effort and planning that it took to make an idea into a reality. I also marginalized all of the hard working people who contributed their efforts and hard won expertise to this organization. In fact, I had completely overlooked the basic simplicity and brilliance of the business model. Most of all, I pushed aside their right to exist without my approval.

I wrote them off because I didn’t like the idea; not because it was reprehensible or terrible, but because I didn’t like it. In the scope of life in America, what does my preference for a particular business model have to do with its success or failure? Nothing. They are doing just fine without my input or approval. I have chosen not to participate as a consumer in their business. This won’t cause everyone else to find their business undesirable.

I think that in some ways this whole attitude that I discovered in myself is high-handed and short-sighted. I have been marginalized a lot of people, things, and experiences simply because I don’t “like” them. I have labeled things as unacceptable for everyone simply because I didn’t want to accept them. That’s really judgmental and stupid, if I must say so myself. I am still trying to figure out where I got the right to just place something on the scrap heap because it doesn’t please me. My only right in dealing with them or anyone that I don’t like is whether or not I want to buy what they are selling.

Somewhere in all of this, I have fallen into the trap of applying some false sense of morality to this situation and many other situations in my life. I have assumed that my thought process is correct for everyone and should be universally accepted. Somehow, I have taken responsibility for something that has nothing to do with me. Maybe, I am trying to protect the world from a form of “evil.” Why? I don’t know. All I really know is that I have discounted everyone’s responsibility for and right to make their own decisions.

People sell what they have (on many different levels). That is their job. It is everyone else’s job to figure out whether they want to buy what is being offered for sale. They make a choice and deal with the consequences. For whatever reason, I have been thinking that people are being ripped off. Despite my thoughts, no one is complaining. In fact, everyone seems to be going home happy. Apparently, I have completely missed the boat or the point. I forgot that if I don’t want to participate in their game or any game, I don’t have to. And I have no right to push that decision on anyone else. All I really have to do in a circumstance like this one is to accept that they exist as they are and keep moving.